About a month before moving back into this project, I had just relocated to my very own cottage in the Maui jungle- living by myself for the first time in nearly 5 years. A tiny little home that came from my dream world and quickly became a place I found peace in. I came to the patio to write and listen to the rain. I awoke looking into the jungle from my loft and being sung to by the all the awakening morning sounds. I decorated the place in my small amount of belongings I've been carrying, and covered the fridge in art, photographs and post-it note goals that I had made when I was living in Los Angeles.
I finally had this feeling of coming home. Of having a place to call my own. I spent most of the summer doing a lot of deep self work, and it had finally seemed to pay off when I scored a little place full of love and gratitude.
One week after I moved in, I received some bad news. The property I had just recently moved onto was being sold, and all of the tenants would have to leave in the near future. I felt winded. I had worked so hard to make this move and begin to expand my creativity in this little sanctuary, and it felt as if the rug had been ripped under me. Fear swept through my body as I treaded against what was next for me. My mind ran into irrationality mode grasping to find some sort of answer to what I was to do. Was it time to leave Maui? Was it time to go "home?" Where am I supposed to go? I grappled with confusion and anxiety for a few days before I kept coming back to one realization. The question I had kept asking was "WHERE" should I go, where should I be- to be doing the things I want to be doing? In that awareness, I began to ask myself what I wanted. Where I had felt called to, and where my dreams were beyond a certain destination.
For the first time in ages, I sat down and asked "Mia, WHAT DO YOU WANT?"
Ideas and inspiration hit me in waves. I wrote down a page of goals and visions and went back to the drawing board. I closed my little journal and slept peacefully.
As I walked by my fridge the following morning, a little pink post-it had fallen onto the floor. I reached down to pick it up and saw the words "work on book project" right before my toes. I firmly pressed it back upon my refrigerator before my morning-haze being made coffee and took my journal outside to write.
I open my journal to find a string of goals I had written the night before. All of them composed of creative writing, photo and music dreams that I have knocking on my gut and telling me to keep seeking.
What did I want? It was all laying right before me. What was I doing to pursue it? Writing about it, ironically.
I grabbed my laptop that morning and reopened the book and photo projects I had begun in Australia. I began mapping out ideas of this platform. I wrote my first blog post in two years. I got to work.
Once I refocused my energy on the things I wanted, my fear seemed to dissipate. When I looked at the matter of where I was supposed to go next, it was no longer full of fear, it was instead replaced with excitement. It no longer mattered where I went, because I was where I wanted to be, I was where I was meant to be, and anything that came after this would be only the next step on my path.
Instead of fear, I was filled with gratitude for the now. Gratitude for being allowed the short amount of time in this tiny faerie cottage, where I've been constantly creating and working on the goals that have sat stagnant on post-it notes for the past year. Gratitude for the progress I've made. Gratitude for everything that is currently ebbing and flowing through my life.
You see, when we release our fear into the ethers, and give way to Life's purpose, the Universe tends to answer our prayers. When we focus our energy into our fears, there is no room for God to speak. We are only confirming that we don't trust what's next for us. Once we move out of fear and into trust, we can come into the places, things and people that are meant for us. Where you invest your time, energy & focus, you will be paid accordingly.
I still have no idea where I'll end up next, but it's not something I need to worry about today. Today, I'm releasing this website into the atmosphere, and allowing my blog to go public again. I'm allowing myself the platform to focus on my goals and bring them to fruition. The first issue of my photo project has been ordered and is in the mail on its way to be proof-read. The second issue is nearly ready as well. Other things are on the horizon that I am working towards and I'm really excited and proud to get started and/or finish them.
Fear only holds us back. What are some things in your life that you've been fearing? Is it a situation that you may be able to re-direct your energy into? Allow yourself to examine your fears and make peace with them. Sometimes they are reminders we may be on the wrong path. Sometimes they are catalysts to launch us into future endeavors. Ask yourself what you want, and how this fear is getting in the way of you having what you want. Finally, and always... give Gratitude for what you currently have in your life. We all have at least one blessing to count. When we appreciate the things we are currently given, it allows us to move into a place of continuous gratitude, and often the eyes to see that we are given an abundant amount of blessings on a daily basis.
With love, gratitude and blessings,