DESTINATION // where you've arrived.
PHANTASMAGORIA began as a travel-blog concept in October of 2014. I had the intentions of creating a place for friends and family to check in with me, and I intended to keep it basic and surface level. Instead something else transpired. When I allowed myself the platform to speak vulnerably to an audience, I began to document and express more of what I was feeling within, instead of strewing lines about the destinations I was arriving to. The experience seemed to go hand-in-hand with the places I would arrive to, and the lessons that would unfold, however as my writing tended to more journalistic tendencies, I felt sometimes as if it were only parts that I should be sharing with myself, and that perhaps I lost sight of what the travel blog was. I allowed myself to listen to my fears and shut off from my dreams of writing and expressing oneself in the most vulnerable way. I abandoned the project for over two years before feeling pulled back to this place.
This time- reveling in what it is, what it could be, and what it always has been. A documentation of my human experience. A place for me to collectively express myself in whichever way I'm feeling called to. I hope you'll stay tuned.
VISION // where we're going
Within the ever-unfolding discovery of my own purpose, I feel mostly called to sharing my words, art and other forms of creativity through my vulnerability, and affirming the general beauty of connectivity. The idea that we are all on this big blue rock experiencing humanity as a whole, from the tender heartbreaking feelings, to the glory of love. I hope through this vision, I can showcase my own vulnerable tender moments, in hopes that I can further connect the dots and somehow bring this full circle, within the base of community and connectivity. That I may inspire, and be inspired, and eventually give back somehow to this life I've been gifted and the people who grace my life.
I believe that the way we all can change the world is by allowing ourselves the openness to be, and sharing ourselves through true expression, because that's where the raw base of humanity lies, that's where Love is. Living through gratitude, embracing the dark parts, and sharing the rollercoaster we were put on.
DREAMER// a woman standing on a staircase of words
In Elementary school, I found a sticker of a skunk that was best buddies with a squirrel- I wrote a story about it, and it's the first memory I have of being taken by words. Later in life, my friends would giggle at the findings of my journals from that same period of my childhood. Big loopy cursive addressed to "the pups," as I scribbled about first crushes and trips to Darien Lake, a nearby amusement park in my 101 Dalmatians journal. In 9th grade, a dear friend composed what she called "my first book," a collected journal of random blurbs I had written and she had put together. (A treasured possession, if any. Much love, Jess. xx.) As long as I could write, I've been scribbling my findings about the world, speaking of love and the treacherous process of letting go, facing my fears and treading among this very beautiful experience we all share. I've always found solace in the written word, and it is my well kept space where I can sort out my thoughts.
Fall of 2014, I went on a life changing (cliché, albeit true.) adventure with my partner in crime and ultimate BFF, Melissa where the seedlings of this space was created. While I've stumbled, and grappled with the idea of sharing my words, I always come back to this place, this idea, this passion, of the possibility that perhaps, this is what I was put here to do. Write. While I may not know exactly how to purpose my words in the way I was meant to -yet- , and while I may hit many more road blocks, and while I may ask many questions along the way, I hope to figure it out.